Relationship Combatibility Factors
Relationship and Marriage counseling can assist you discover how suitable you are.
The two most important factors that decide how similar you are as a couple are:
A similar level of psychological health and maturity and a compatible ranking of Instinctual Variants.
What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the inherant energies or drive that are innately part of us as humans. Our actions are highly engaged with and is often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.
Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual variant are often with the basic existential needs as they translate into our contemporary society, for example, money, food, accomodation, health, physical safety and comfort.
Being secure and physically comfortable are essential, and they will tend to bring their supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice lighting, uncomfortable seating, the room temperature, when the coffee break will be, and whether they will enjoy the food provided. They also tend to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of basic necessities of life.
They are the most introverted of the types.
Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this type have a strong desire for intensity of experience and intimacy. The blunt riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a room they automatically gravitate toward people they feel magnetized to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can be intimacy addicts, often ignoring pressing matters or even basic hygiene if they are swept up in something that has captivated them. This gives a wide ranging exploratory approach to life, but can also give a lack of focus on one’s own priorities.
Social Instinct.
People of this type are focused on their interactions with other people and with the sense of value and self esteem they derive from their participation in collective activities. These include work, family, side activities and clubs.
Upon entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the power structures and subtle politics between different people and groups. They are subconsciously focused on other people’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to connect with others to feel secure, acknowledged and energised. They tend to love interacting with people, but they avoid intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.
Within a personality, one of these three Instincts will dominate. In fact the three traits can be ordered like the sections of a cake, with the most dominant one at the top. The least powerful one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These instincts play an essential role in our relationships because personalities of the same variant tend to share values to understand each other completely, and therefore feel very compatible.
In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.
For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.
For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.